As I sit here on the roof terrace in Spain I felt compelled to write this blog. I’m pressing the RESET button as I described it to a friend the other day. Because, even with practising plenty of daily self care, life can still creep up on you and bite you in the ass when you least expect it! Time to pause...reflect...have a break...have a KitKat!!!
You see, I have experienced ‘‘The Black Dog’ probably 3 times in my adult life and it never gets easier. But what does happen is you learn to recognise the signs earlier and over time you learn and practice the emotional awareness and other skills it takes to claw your way out of that black hole and back into the light again. Hence why I’m sat on this roof terrace!
I have been working in the Health and Fitness industry for over 10 years and during the majority of that time my main focus has been working with ladies to ‘transform their bodies’. And why not...after all, haven’t we all desired that J Lo / Beyonce booty, those Jessica Ennis washboard abs or been envious of Madonna...those arms though!!
But in the last 5 years I have seen, more and more, women come to me for help who are really in pain. Not physical pain, but emotional pain. Typically women who have reached their early 40’s (sometimes earlier) who may have, what appears to the outside world, a great life….loving partner, 2.4 kids, successful career, big house, amazing wardrobe, holiday home abroad, plenty of vacations - you get the picture. In fact, what these women are really feeling is sad, stuck, depressed, tired, lonely (even surrounded by family), no lust for life and like they’ve lost their mojo.
When they look in the mirror and they don’t like or recognise what they see it hurts, it hurts like hell because all they see is a shell of the version they used to be. And so begins the downward spiral of negative self talk, neglect, comparison to others, social exclusion, lack of self care and just to add salt into the wound...CRAZY BLOODY HORMONES!! Been there, done ALL of that, got the divorce and had the nervous break down!!
So my business took a turn (for the better in my opinion) a few years ago, when I became passionate about wanting to help and support women who experience some kind of low point in their life. No longer is the priority placed on looking good so you can swan around in your best sparkly bikini on holiday (although still valid), but the real work is helping women feel frickin awesome again and encourage them to nurture a positive relationship with themselves.
Women do the best job in the world at looking after everybody else in their lives...partners, kids, parents, colleagues, siblings, elderly neighbour across the way, the girl down the local hairdressers who’s boyfirend has left her for the 5th time! Oh and whilst they’re playing all out at being Wonder Woman, guess what...they totally forget to look after themselves! And before they know it they’re in that dark place, walking around under a big black cloud, feeling numb because they are so consumed by feelings of fear, guilt, shame, low self esteem and the list goes on.
And this is a verrrrry lonely place to be, with all the negative self talk and BS stories that start to build up in their heads (which are not real by the way), which then perpetuate into a full-on-blow-your-head-off melt down and they find themselves on the kitchen floor sobbing into their favourite tea towel, or in my case, in the middle of an aisle in Tesco!!
So let’s start today, right here, right now...find yourself one thing that makes you feel really good, practice it every day, get really good at it and savour those feel good hormones. It might only seem like a very small step but this is where it all begins….
Here’s to becoming the best version of yourself!
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